They're Your Parents, Too!: How Siblings Can Survive Their Parents' Aging Without Driving Each Other Crazy

Your parents are growing older and are getting forgetful, starting to slow down, or worse. Suddenly you find yourself at the cusp of one of the most important transitions in your life—and the life of your family. Your parents need you and your siblings to step up and take care of them, a little or a lot. To make the right things happen, you will all need to work together. And yet your siblings may have very different ideas from yours of what’s best for Mom and Dad. They may be completely uninterested in helping, leaving you with all the responsibility. Or they may take charge and not allow you to help, or criticize whatever help you do give. Will you and your siblings be able to reach an understanding and work together, or will the challenges you face tear you apart? 

    Most of us enter this period of our lives unprepared for the difficult decisions and delicate negotiations that lie ahead. This is the first book that provides guidance on the transition from the “old” family to the “new” one, especially for adult siblings. Here you’ll find practical advice on a wide range of topics including
• Who will make major medical decisions, manage finances, and enforce end-of-life choices if your parents cannot? And how will this be decided and carried out?
• How will you negotiate caregiving issues and deal with unequal contributions or power struggles?  
• How can inheritance and the division of property, assets, and personal effects be handled to minimize hurt feelings and resentment?
• How will you cope with the natural reemergence of unresolved childhood rivalries, hurts, and needs?
• How can caring for your parents be an enriching experience rather than a thankless chore?
• Most important, how can you ensure the best care for your parents while lessening conflict, guilt, anger, and angst?
    Written by a veteran journalist who chronicles life and how baby boomers live it, They’re Your Parents, Too! offers all the information, insight, and advice you’ll need to make productive choices as you and your siblings begin to assume your parents’ place as the decision-making generation of your family.

    Filled with expert guidance from gerontologists, family therapists, elder-care attorneys, financial planners, and health workers; resonant real-life stories; and helpful family negotiation techniques, this is an indispensable book for anyone whose parents are aging.

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By Aketzle (Carbondale, IL) · ★★★★☆ · April 27, 2014
This did offer a lot of helpful perspective and things to consider. It definitely helped me think about how things might be seen by other siblings - that each sibling, despite perhaps having the same parents, did not necessarily have the same childhood or relationships with those parents. It calm... ...more
By Deborah (Las Animas, CO) · ★★★★★ · February 16, 2010
More and more of us Baby Boomer generation each day are having to face the challenge of caring for our aging parents. Whether you are an only child facing this task or from a large family of siblings like myself it's not an easy decision to make. I say that knowing full well that it's not just on... ...more
By Jennifer · ★★★★★ · May 04, 2010
From My Blog...[return][return]As we age, so do our parents and for many of us there will come a time when difficult decisions must be made. Fortunately, Francine Russo thought of many of the issues that will arise and offers up some practical advise about how to deal with these issues and the fe... ...more
By Margy (The United States) · ★★★★☆ · June 11, 2013
I thought this was very informative in understanding the psychological complexities that play into not only the parent/child relationship in dealing with aging parents, but the the sibling to sibling relationships. From the case examples in the book it sounds as though some families are able to f... ...more
By Karen (Marlborough, MA) · ★★★☆☆ · May 11, 2010
This was okay, but not as helpful as I'd hoped. The case studies were very specific, and it seemed as if much more time was put into the narration of those situations than into actual advice as to how to cope with them. Also, I never felt that she quite got to MY situation. Of course, there wasn'... ...more
By Karen (Wichita, KS) · ★★★★☆ · June 21, 2010
Russo interviews a number of siblings about their experience caring for an ailing parent. She focuses on the emotional landscape of these events (sibling rivalries, shifting family roles and such), but she does have some detail on pragmatics of health care. ...more
By Jenny · ★★☆☆☆ · July 27, 2011
Good book, I skimmed some of it because it doesn't really apply to me (yet). Just curious. ...more