If You Love Me, Don't Love Me: Undoing Reciprocal Double Binds and Other Methods of Change in Couple and Family Therapy

This work presents clinical examples to reveal a fresh understanding of the therapist's feelings within the content of treatment. At the heart of Elkaim's technique is self-reference. He demonstrates how therapists can use their own experiences as powerful tools of intervention. Elkaim also shows how to work with crippling reciprocal double binds, when, for example, someone wants to be loved but pushes his loved ones away out of fear that love is followed by loss. The book should be of use to anyone who works with couples or families.