How to Deal with Divorce When there are Kids Involved

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great ways to raise your

Although divorce is a complex issue all by itself; it gets twisted every which way when there are
children involved. When parents have shared custody, there are all kinds of challenges and
potential minefields that can come up.

Even though our children are foremost on our minds; they can sometimes be put on the back
burner inadvertently when other trying moments pop up. Below you will find some advice that
could shed some light on a few ways you can alleviate some co-parenting issues before they are
blown out of proportion.

Be sure to keep your children's lives as organized and planned as you can. Your kids will benefit if
you are both able to concur when it comes to the times of day that the children will eat and sleep.

Your policies need to be alike. If the courses of action you and your ex adopt are too different; the
children may be terribly bewildered. One parent may be a lot more lenient than the other and the
children may wonder why there is such a big difference. Try to discuss these issues in a
reasonable way with the other parent so you can work out the details. It is critical that you keep
the living arrangements trouble free for the kids, but by no mean do the homes need to be

The input of the child is very important. Always ask your child about situations and decisions that
need to be made. For instance, you should ask the child where they want to spend the summer or
holidays. Don't argue with the other parent! Try to talk things out, and always ask for the input of
the child in regard to what he or she really wants to do. This will make everything go more
smoothly, as the child will be happier when he or she has been consulted about the outcome. You
should never avoid including the children in this process. It will not end up happy. The only
exception to this is if the child is too young to be able to understand the issues.

Some of the most awkward co-parenting moments can occur when children need to be picked up
or dropped off at the other parent's home. Handle these situations as calmly as you can, and don't
turn them into dramas. You can help this by making sure that you show up on time. If you are late
or miss your appointments you are just going to make things more difficult for everyone. If you
aren't able to stick to the current schedule because something unavoidable comes up you need to
tell the other parent as soon as you can. During the inevitable moments that you do encounter
your co-parent, stay calm and don't let yourself get sucked into an argument. It's better to wait
until your children are not around to discuss things that are serious or that could cause a
disagreement. While we've covered some of the basic issues that are relevant to co-parenting,
you will probably find that you have to figure out a lot of it for yourself. If both parents are civil,
then a plan of action can be set up which both parents can agree with. Some parents will be very
hostile toward one another. This typically happens early on. For the sake of your kids, but all of
this negativity aside as soon as possible.