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Like far too many people I lived in and was raised
by a family who believed the bottle and ... was
better then dealing with the "real world", real
problems and real ... I learned to
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Like far too many Cerca Casa people I lived in and was raised by a
family who believed the bottle and co-dependency was better then
dealing with the "real world", real problems and real children So, I
learned to be: The Chameleon Girl, ready to change to conform to
anyone's mood, to leap to conclusions at a single bound, to become
fearful faster then a rational thought I yearned to be something anything
special I searched for the meaning of me who am I what do I believe

I did not know could not know was never given the freedom to learn
how to explore the world, my opinions, my desires To do that would be
terrifying to my mother, father; it would have been seen as a denial of
them, abandonment of them It was through me that my mother lived her
life, and through me that my father found his comfort I was confused and
fearful The only place I felt loved and cared for was at school and during

It was there that I longed to become what I loved: A priest I was crush
when I could not become a priest, a woman preist I felt lost In search of
myself, my need to service God's people, I went to college to become a
Social Worker I married my college sweetheart, we created four
wonderful children: two boys and twin girls During my early years of
marriage, and being a mother, I worked part time dealing with Family in
Crisis It was demanding exhausting work with little reward I discovered
that many of the troubles that were present were from how the families
saw themselves and each other: It was the atmosphere that was created
My own experiences as a child, my work as a social worker, and my
disenchantment with STEP as a parenting technique; I came to learn how
important it was for me to be fully human and more positive, and
"proactive", not just letting fate decide how I was to act about any
situation, or let fear lead me as a parent

Why the disenchantment with STEP? I believe that STEP, while having
many marvelous things going for it, stops short when trying to help
families come out of their destructive patterns The emphasis is on the
child, not the parent Parenting is one of the most profound and intense
interrelationships we will have in our life times Far more intense than our
relationships with people with whom we chose These relationships are
A"bornA" from us Many of us see our children as extensions of ourselves
and that often gets us into relationship and parenting difficulties Women
who believe that their issues are dealt with find that parenting brings
hidden issues to the fore What is a proactive parent? A proactive parent
understands that that parenting is a relational activity, which the rules that
govern relationships with others work here as well; just with the added
twist that the parent is in charge A proactive parent understands that
children are like sponges and will react as the parents react

A proactive parent understands that to truly be the best parent she can
be is to understand herself as completely as possible I became
convinced during my working years and as a parent that many problems
have a more spiritual aspect: A feeling of worthlessness Mothers,
women often feel as if spirituality belongs to men; or their own
experiences as children has left them feeling as if they are unworthy to be
anything other than, "a loser " Because of my own personality,
experience and understanding of myself, I went into formation for
Spiritual Direction and created a ministry for mothers I have come back
to writing late When I was younger I wrote often, then stopped for many
reasons Now I am slowly coming back to journaling I learned that life
truly is what YOU make it and there are rules to this game of life, and I
have become a student of life to live it at my best Article Tags: ,

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