Course designed by:
JCI Senator Kalada Apiafi, ITF 099.
Wider Perspectives Limited, Port Harcourt, Nigeria.
+234-803 310 1457
You Can Get Anything You Want, BUT YOU HAVE TO DO
MORE THAN ASK – Roger Dawson
Negotiate with Confidence – Ed Brodow
You Can Negotiate Anything – Herb Cohen
Course Outline Negotiation Skills
SUMMARY There is the misconception that every negotiation involves money. This is not so.
According to Roger Dawson, an authority on negotiation: ‘ Anytime you want
something from someone else and anytime someone wants something from you,
you are negotiating.’ Everything is negotiable and every day you negotiate with
customers, suppliers, colleagues, your wife and even your children.
Negotiation is a game and like any game has its rules (principles) and tactics
(gambits). Also, advance preparation is a must.
Key factors that determine the outcome of every negotiation include – Power,
Information, Time, Communication Skills (Verbal and Non Verbal) and Personality.
Good negotiators strive for Win – Win outcomes.
Demonstrate The Concept Of Negotiation
Identify The Role And Importance Of Power, Time, Information,
Communication Skills And Personality In A Successful Negotiation
State The Principles And Techniques Of Successful Negotiation
Enable You Negotiate With Confidence
MAIN POINTS Module 1
The Stages Of Negotiation
How Both Sides Can Win
LENGTH Minimum time required: 3 Hours
Maximum time needed: 8 Hours
PARTICIPANTS Minimum required: 10 – Maximum allowed: 100
EQUIPMENT 1. Laptop computer
2. LCD projector (if not available, transparencies can be printed and used with an
3. Flip chart and at least 20 sheets of paper
4. Markers (different colours) for the Trainer
MATERIALS 1. Participant’s
5. What Influences People Evaluation Sheet
6. Listening Skills Checklist
7. Listening Like a Negotiator Sheet
8. Negotiation Action Plan Checklist
You Can Get Anything You Want, BUT YOU HAVE TO DO MORE THAN ASK
– Roger Dawson
2. Negotiate with Confidence – Ed Brodow
3. You Can Negotiate Anything – Herb Cohen
ROOM LAYOUT Ideal room layout is semi - circle
Show slide 1 and leave it on till you finish the introductions and welcome.
Introduce yourself and any other trainers present.
Ask each participant to introduce him/herself stating their names and what
Welcome all participants and give a short overview of the course indicating
There is the misconception that every negotiation involves money. This is not
so. According to Roger Dawson, an authority on negotiation: ‘ Anytime you
want something from someone else and anytime someone wants something
from you, you are negotiating.’ Everything is negotiable and every day you
negotiate with customers, suppliers, colleagues, your wife and even your
Therefore, if you can negotiate well, you rank as one of your organization’s
most valuable persons.
Explain that active participation is expected from all participants for effective
learning and to achieve the seminar objectives and that the key take home of
the Seminar is how to successfully use negotiation techniques and also
recognize them in an opponent.
Give a brief run down of the seminar objectives as shown in slide 2
Give a brief run down of the seminar outline as shown in slide 3
Time Limit Quiz
Ask participants to do the Time Limit Quiz (Handout 1). Many of them would
start rushing through the quiz instead of complying with item 1- Read
everything before doing anything. Use this to illustrate that people do
likewise when negotiating, not realising that
Negotiation is a process not an event and therefore needs advance planning
Ask participants to complete Handout 2. Inform them that they have to be
honest about the self check to get the maximum benefit from the Seminar.
Discuss slide 4
Key points to be made include:
a) People negotiate daily and negotiation does not always involve money.
Anytime You Want Something From Someone And Anytime Someone
Wants Something From You, You Are Negotiating. Our spouses, children
and friends negotiate with us regularly. For instance, when your friend
wants to borrow a book from you, this is a negotiating situation, therefore,
you have to get a commitment to (negotiate) a return date or else it may
never be returned.
b) Revisit the Time Limit Quiz to emphasize that Negotiation is a process,
not an event. Let them know this would be explained in detail in Module 3
– The Stages of Negotiation.
c) In a successful negotiation all parties win. Therefore negotiation is not
necessarily adversarial. Let them know that this will become very clear by
the time the session is over.
d) Power, Information and Time Pressure (real or contrived) are at play in
every negotiation. Power here, being the ability to influence people and
events. The party with more information stands a better chance of
negotiating a favourable outcome for itself. Time pressure is part of the
web of tension in the definition of negotiation on the slide, the other being
the extent of organisational support each party to the negotiation has.
Modern day negotiation involves team work through the various stages,
organisations, therefore, must be willing to make its staff available, rather
than leaving it to one or two persons.
Emphasize that negotiation is a game and has rules, like any other game.
The principles to be discussed are the rules for successful negotiation.
Remind participants also that the seminar is participative. They should,
therefore, feel free to ask questions and make contributions as the
Discuss slides 5 – 8. Key points to be highlighted are the need to:
a) Personalize transactions. Ways to achieve this include calling the
opponent(s) by name, complimenting them and, looking for things you
have in common – attendance of the same school, similar interests, for
instance, sports, voluntary work etc. State briefly, that is why information
gathering is important.
b) Develop a good relationship with the other party before you negotiate.
This can be done by phone call(s) and having breakfast/ lunch/ dinner
together. The essence here is to establish rapport.
c) Make the other party talk about itself, its underlying feelings, and its
organization. This is achieved by asking questions and allowing the other
party to do more of the talking.
d) Give information slowly and cautiously. This is because the side with
more information stands a better chance of negotiating a favourable
outcome for itself. Remind participants of the Time Limit Quiz and that
they should never be in a hurry when negotiating.
e) Get something in return whenever you make a concession. This ensures
that you do not give away too much. Also it discourages the other party
from asking for too many concessions since they know you are going to
ask for one each time you concede.
f) Give the other party some concessions if it has done its share of making
concessions, so it can save face.
g) Move towards objective(s) slowly, making concessions one at a time. The
other party is likely to ask for more concessions if they are given easily
and vice versa.
h) Consult on concessions when necessary. Illustrate that skilled
negotiators do this always even in the face of time pressure or
negotiating away from home. This is achieved by politely asking for
permission to make a call, get back to them or leave the room.
Substitute negotiators when necessary, for instance, in the case of a
deadlock a new team member is likely to change the tempo of the
negotiation and break the deadlock.
Take notes during the negotiation and write up the agreement. Taking
notes makes the other party feel that what they are saying is important. It
also enables you brief the person drawing up the agreement in detail.
Drawing up the agreement gives the advantage of making it suit you
because it becomes a working document to be amended.
k) Draft the document as if it may ultimately be read in Court because the
parties might end up in court.
While questions would have arisen during the discussion you may
(depending on how well you are doing with time) allow for a few more
questions from the participants to ensure understanding of this module. You
may also wish to ask one or two questions.
Make it clear to participants that as much as possible, they must apply ALL
the principles in every Negotiation for a successful outcome.
THE FOUR STAGES OF NEGOTIATION
Show slide 9 and state briefly that there are four stages in Negotiation and it
is necessary to take time to go through each in every negotiation for a
successful outcome. Drive home the point that negotiation is a process not
an event, referring to the slide, which shows the Actual Negotiation as the
end not the beginning of the process and that in practice people often rush to
the fourth stage thus ending up with a bad deal.
Divide the participants into two teams with one representing the Management
of a company and the other, the Trade Union (you are free to select other
options, for example, one group could represent an industrial buyer and the
other, the seller).
Give both teams five minutes to prepare to negotiate with each other and
give no further guidance other than that the actual negotiation will take eight
minutes. However, you can answer questions from either team provided that
it does not defeat the purpose of the exercise which is to practically
demonstrate a Negotiation and some of the errors often made.
Stop both teams after the five minutes and start the actual negotiation.
However, you can allow an extra minute or two if more time is requested for
and use this as an opportunity to illustrate that almost anything is negotiable
including deadlines. Get both teams to start the actual negotiation, make
notes of your observations and stop them after eight minutes.
Discuss the role play and invite comments including:
a) Extent and methodology of information gathering, for instance did either
team initiate any meeting(s) at the preparatory stage. Refer them to the
principles of personalized transactions, developing a good relationship
before the negotiation and the importance of information.
b) Did both teams have a Plan of Action? If any, what were the contents?
c) What was the pattern of concessions (quick, slow, asking for something
in return)? Which team made more concessions and why?
d) Which team displayed more confidence and why?
e) How where the members of the negotiating team selected?
f) Which team listened more?
Discuss each of the stages using slides 10 to 14. Give as many practical
examples as possible, refer to the role play to drive home your points and ask
participants to also talk about some of their experiences and how the
discussion has enabled them realise some of their past errors.
Show slide 15 and conclude that
ADVANCE PLANNING IS A MUST FOR SUCCESSFUL NEGOTIATIONS.
Take and ask a few questions if time permits.
Show slide 16 and ask participants if they have gone into a negotiation
feeling the weaker party and why? Allow answers from about 2 participants
and let them know that they should NEVER enter into a Negotiation feeling
they are the weaker party because Power is a subjective mental force and,
therefore, largely a matter of perception. Further state that “If You Believe
You Have It, You Have It, If You Believe You Don’t (Even If You Do), You
Don’t Have It,” so that it is very clear to them.
It is essential to make clear that power here is viewed in its positive sense as
merely the ability to influence people and events and that the party with more
power (influence) will gain the most concessions.
Let them know that this module is about how to have Power in any
Discuss slides 17 and 18 as follows:
a) Title Power: The legitimate power that goes to anyone who holds a title.
Advise participants to never allow themselves to be intimidated by titles.
b) Reward Power: Anytime one person has the power to reward another, he
or she has reward power. Let participants know that they often have
hidden reward power. For instance, when shopping for a new car they
have the power to reward the sales person with a sale or they can
withhold the sale. Also let them know that the defense against such
power is to use reluctance, to make the reward appear as meaningless
c) Coercion Power: Explain that anyone who has the power to punish, from
a police officer to a mother, has the ability to influence and punishment
comes in many forms but one of the greatest punishments that we fear is
ridicule. A negotiator must come to grips with his fear of humiliation
otherwise he will never succeed in influencing people. To fend off the
power of coercion, participants must overcome fears. So, for instance,
when the person across the table laughs at the offer, keep in mind that
it’s a power ploy, don’t allow your fear of rejection to control the situation.
d) Referent Power: Explain that this power is available to anyone who
maintains a consistent set of attractive values and sticks to them.
Therefore, if they are honest, fair, upstanding and considerate, they will
have a strong ability to influence people – and that is worth far than any
amount of money.
e) Charisma Power: Let them know that charisma is one of the most
powerful factors of influence and comes mainly from the ability to make
people feel important. State that: if you can make someone feel
important, you can make him/her do anything. Also, explain other
ways of achieving charisma are calling people by their names and
dressing well. Ask participants for other ways of having charisma.
f) Expertise Power: Explain that through expertise power many
professionals have learned to ensure that their clients listen to them,
thereby influencing them. Point out also that expertise power can be
abused, if it is, it leads to loss of respect, and consequently power on the
other hand, expertise power can be very advantageous in negotiations.
g) Situation Power: Explain that certain persons such as a Secretary, who
may be powerless in any other aspect of daily life, may practically hold
your life in his hands in the office situation. Situation power gives people
a great deal of influence over the actions of others and people Love To
Use It. It can be very irritating and intimidating but can be dealt with by
being courteous, understanding and definite in requests.
Ask participants for other examples of situation power.
h) Information Power: Explain that this has already been discussed in
the Principles and Stages of Negotiation modules and will be discussed
further in the next module. However, reemphasize the importance of
information in negotiation.
Surroundings Power: Let them know they are better off if they can
negotiate in their offices rather than the other party’s because they can
control the situation more.
Confusion Power: Explain that if they can get someone confused, then
they have the ability to influence him. If the other party is so confused
that he doesn’t know what to do, there is a good chance that he will do
whatever he is told to.
k) Competition Power: Explain that they can usually gain some influence in
negotiations if they state the fact that they have many options and do not
necessarily need to make a deal with the other party.
Risk Sharing Power: Let participants know that when they are trying to
convince someone to invest in something, their arguments become more
powerful if they can arrange the deal so that the risk is shared – they
know you will fight hard because your survival also depends on the deal.
m) Identification Power: Explain to participants that if people can identify with
them they will be able to influence them. Use this to illustrate the
importance of belonging to social networks.
n) Legitimacy Power: Let them know that people are conditioned to believe
anything that is printed, therefore they should use it when it is
advantageous and challenge it when it used against them. Commitment
Power: Explain that ability to gain the commitment of others gives power
in negotiations. Commitment can be gained by involving the other party
by seeking their opinions, for instance. This involvement will lead to
commitment which in turn leads to power. Persistence Power: Let them
know that persistence pays and that most people are not persistent
enough. People most often get what they want because they are
o) Precedent Power: Explain that precedent is another force in negotiation
and should be used to maximum advantage. It can be countered by
referring to the passage of time after the precedent.
Explain that attitude is important in negotiation and that
they should learn to see it as a game so as to have more energy, less
stress and better results.
Illustrate the above as much as possible with practical examples and stories
Distribute handout 3 – What Influences People - and ask participants to
complete it and re-evaluate themselves monthly.
Close this module by showing slide 19 and reemphasising that people should
NEVER go into a Negotiation feeling the weaker party because there are so
many power sources to draw from.
Show slide 20 and open by stating the fact that - INFORMATION IS THE
KEY TO SUCCESS IN NEGOTIATION – despite this, most unskilled
negotiators hardly take the time or the effort to go through the information
gathering stage of the negotiation.
It can lead you to an understanding of the other side, of their needs and
desires, and will help you achieve what you want.
Discuss slide 20 making the following key points:
a) Knowledge is power, and the more knowledge one side is able to get
about the other, the better chance there is for victory.
b) Asking questions is important – directly from the other party, from others
who have dealt with them in the past and from professionals.
c) A neutral meeting place may be best for preliminary information
gathering. If you meet over lunch, away from the formality of the office,
you are much more likely to collect valuable information. State this as the
reason for the existence of restaurants in all cities of the world.
d) They should look out for verbal and non-verbal cues. Explain that as
much as 70% of communication is non-verbal and that this will be
discussed during the communication module.
e) It is important to test the validity of information as not all information
provided is usually correct.