Once Upon a Time in the Shaolin: A Wu-Tang Clan Heist Film
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ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE SHAOLIN
A WU-TANG CLAN HEIST FILM
Written by
Jordan VanDina
12/15/2015 OnceUponATimeinTheShaolin@gmail.com
“MY THOUGHTS MUST BE RELAXED, BE ABLE TO MAINTAIN/CAUSE TIMES
IS CHANGED AND LIFE IS STRANGE/THE GLORIOUS DAYS IS GONE, AND
EVERYBODY’S DOING BAD/YO, MAD LIVES IS UP FOR GRABS” – “CAN
IT BE ALL SO SIMPLE”
ii.
FADE IN:
EXT. COLD STREETS OF BROOKLYN - NIGHT
Brooklyn is filled with chaos and unrest. Trash fires run
rampant through the alleys. Stray animals linger on the
sidewalks.
Bums and drug addicted lunatics stand shoulder to shoulder
desperately searching for any sign of a better tomorrow.
MORGAN FREEMAN (V.O.)
You are looking at the year 2025.
After two full terms as president,
Donald Trump turned our country
into a burning, empty vessel.
QUICK FLASHES OF DONALD TRUMP AS PRESIDENT
- The Donald cuts the ribbon at the new wall he built
blocking Canadians from entering America. His evil wispy hair
glistens in the sunlight.
- The Donald calls a one month old baby a “fat disgusting
loser.”
- The Donald doubled over laughing at his own performance on
one of the early seasons of Celebrity Apprentice. (Probably
the one where Gary Busey fights with the lead singer of Sugar
Ray over cupcakes.)
MORGAN FREEMAN (V.O.)
Our American culture as we know it
is dead. We are no longer the
superpower we once were. We are
tirelessly searching for a new
Renaissance. Appreciation of the
arts is a thing of the past. The
cinema has died. Music has become
so boring, basic and diluted it is
essentially just Morse code.
EXT. MUSIC FESTIVAL - NIGHT
Thousands of kids stand in front of a stage as a DJ presses a
button and BEEPING Morse code noises come from the speakers.
The kids move and dance to the simple sounds.
MORGAN FREEMAN (V.O.)
In fact, the last recorded album
with any substance was...
